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| The class of 2014 |
Its stupid o’clock. 5am to be precise. I
must be clinically insane. Even the 3 year is still asleep. I am also feeling
the teensiest bit jaded but with all that dewy bright-eyed first race enthusiasm
I have managed to haul myself out of bed in time for the start of the
Australian Grand Prix. I might not achieve anything else today but I have
managed to do this.
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| 6am on Sunday morning |
How fitting that the Sky team opened the
show with a dignified and heartfelt mention of Michael Schumacher still
fighting for his life 11 weeks after his horrific accident. In Melbourne, the
teams have apparently decided not to discuss Schumacher's condition publicly out
of respect for him and his family but many of the F1 teams have held tributes,
including his former Mercedes and Ferrari teams. Mercedes has the
#KeepFightingMichael banner on its cars, as does Ferrari with #ForzaMichael. It
is all so desperately sad and I pray every day that he turns the corner and
there will be some positive news.
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| #KeepFightingMichael |
I wasn’t sure how I felt about the new F1
season starting with the events of the winter but now it is here I am glad. I
think a lot of F1 fans need the excitement of a brand new chapter in F1 to
focus on. One of my favourite Sky features from last season is the Damon Hill
and Johnny Herbert ‘behind the scenes’ at different tracks. It shouldn’t work
but it totally does as you can tell they get on brilliantly and perfectly
complement each other. Today Damon and Johnny are catching up with Alan Jones and we
discover there is a real-life ‘Alan Jones Boulevard’ in the Melbourne
paddock. I love the choice of the word ‘boulevard’ as if Alan Jones was a
highbrow Alain Prost kind of figure when he is possibly The Most Australian
Person on the Planet. I loved his no nonsense assessment of Daniel
Ricciardo “he’s got that lovely smile but grows horns at the right time”. Please
let him be doing the after-race interviews.
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| Alan Jones winning Williams' first world championship in 1980 |
Suddenly its time for the very first
#MartinsGridWalk of the season! I might have missed a bit of the build-up there
due to extreme sleep deprivation and the arrival downstairs of the 3 year old. I’ve
just noticed though lots of people on the grid are wearing little pink shirt badges in memory of Jenson
Button’s father. How lovely.
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| For old times |
There are NO cars at the front of the grid
yet. But we have Sir Jackie Stewart who will never turn down an interview. JYS
likes this new F1 and finds the new sound is more comfortable on his ears. Bless. And its our First Random Celebrity at a
Race of the season – its Miss Dannii Minogue. Told you! Although she is a
big Jenson fan (is she?), she is obviously supporting Daniel Ricciardo and says
the pressure is on Lewis and would like some rain to spice things up. Does
anyone else remember when she was engaged to Jacques Villeneuve? Blimey she dodged a bullet there.
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Apparently Kevin Magnussen doesn’t want to
talk on the grid this year. Hmmm methinks Ron Dennis might have had a word in
the producer’s shell-like to ensure the full media spotlight isn’t thrust on
his young driver. Talking of media spotlights, there is predictably a huge media scrum
around Daniel Ricciardo while he tries to have some really important
conversation with his engineers. He said the practice starts have been ok but
everyone is a bit up and down with starts.
We get an ‘time filler’ close up of the
hideously ugly Ferrari of Alonso then the two Toro Rosso’s that qualified so
well. Apparently the last teenager before Kvyat to qualify in the top 10 was
Sebastian Vettel. Well who knew? Though
we probably could have guessed. After a chat with Eric Bouillier that I
instantly forgot, Martin found the ever affable and loquacious Christian
Horner. Apparently Seb has had some software issues but at the moment it is
okay. Portent of Doom Alert.
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| Remember Martin Whitmarsh? Nope, didn't think so |
Darth Vader aka Ron Dennis has been
spotted but will he grant an audience?! Reluctantly yes. He thinks fuel consumption, tyre
degradation and reliability will be an issue. So not much then. The biggest
challenge will be juggling fuel consumption – if you drop off the pace too much
to save on fuel then you start to lose temperature in the tyres. He thinks its
going to be a good season but fans shouldn’t judge things on one race and said
menacingly that qualifying was after all exciting. Ron, we wouldn’t dare argue. Loved
Damon’s comments afterwards on Ron that “he was looking imperious and giving Brundle
the full sneer!” Couldn’t have put it better myself. Not that he was shaking in
his boots or anything but still it’s the most nervous I have ever seen Brundle.
Final word is with Nico Hulkenberg. He is
pretty confident but mused how confident can you be in the first race of the
season. Then Martin left him in peace to eat his banana.
Its time to get this F1 season underway.
Five lights and (you couldn’t make it up) its an
aborted start. You are freaking kidding me. There is another broken down
Marussia, that of Jules Bianchi (to join the other broken down Marussia of Max
Chilton on the formation lap). Still its not like they are on limited fuel or
anything. Oh.
Well here we go again. And its Go! Go! Go! at
the Australian Grand Prix. And Rosberg makes a stunning start from third to leapfrog
Hamilton and Ricciardo to take the lead. Meanwhile Massa’s Williams has crashed
out after Kobayashi in the Caterham basically slid in him. I seem to remember we have been here before with Kobayashi. Just gutted for Massa.
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| First lap carnage thanks to Kobayashi |
And Kevin Magnussen (who I have discovered
is the son of Jan Magnussen who I remember racing in F1 not that long ago –
weeps at advancing age) just gobbles up Lewis Hamilton to move into 3rd
place. And is that a Force India mixing it with the big boys? Of course its Hulkenberg who is now
in 4th place.
Distressing news to report I know but
Vettel appears to have a problem of sorts. Endless start replays show that he
basically just went backwards. Curiouser and curiouser. Now Lewis has been
ordered to retire to save the engine and then moments later is told to stay
out. Its lap 2 and my brain is fried. Oh dear now Hamilton is coming in to
retire. He is reporting no power and has a problem with the gearbox. What a
crushing disappointment that will be.
No one else appears to have noticed that
Kimi (who qualifed in 11th place) is now up in 6th place.
How did that happen? And how much am I enjoying seeing the Williams easily
overtaking cars (even before DRS is even enabled) and seeing the new kids on the block driving out
there without fear and with total confidence. I think this season will mark a
changing of the guard…
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| Bottas driving for Williams |
And now the reigning world champion (it feels
like since forever) Sebastian Vettel is out after some very narked exchanges
with his mechanics snapping “that’s ridiculous” when told his KERS wasn’t
working properly. Not that the Red Bull is actually looking all that shabby
this season (funny that) but Vettel is a right stroppy teenager when he’s up
against it.
And just as we’re following Bottas, he
clatters into the wall and ends up with a puncture. It did look he was driving
too hard if such a thing is possible in F1. Probably a good thing I’m not a race
engineer as I’d be berating the driver as opposed to the correct approach of
the Williams engineer calmly asking him to box as if it was a scheduled
pitstop.
Bottas’ small wall altercation gives us
our first appearance of the Safety Car for the season (so another tick on the
F1 Bingo sheet). Cue a multiple round of pitstops. The main loser turns out to
be Kimi who lost quite a lot of time while the team brought in Alonso first.
Welcome to life as a number two, Kimi. I know what Ferrari say but I don’t
believe them.
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| They might have matching sunglasses but we all know who is no.1 and who is no.2 |
And now, as if there wasn’t enough drama
with false starts, pole-sitter and world champion retirements and safety cars,
there is light rain is falling on parts of the track. Although the Weather
Monitor of Hope says it should miss most of the track. Really? I have to say
that sky looks very dark and sinister.
On lap 16 the race re-starts properly. Again. So lets have a quick round up of the top order on lap
20:
1. Nico Rosberg
2. Ricciardo
3. Magnussen
4. Hulkenberg
5. Alonso
6. Button
By lap 32 (I may have nodded off) we have already had 15
retirements, the latest ones now being Ericsson and Maldonado. Meanwhile, Rosberg is beginning to open up an
ominously massive gap at the front. Bottas has impressively fought his way
through the field and is now gaining on Kimi in 8th. And for all
their much heralded shiteness, the two Lotus cars are somehow running 13th
and 14th. Button pits on lap 33 and its possible that could be his
last pitstop. He is running very nicely indeed. Bizarrely a bit of the giant
anteater nose on his car falls off when its jacked up in the pits but no one seems
too fussed.
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| Jenson Button in the new style McLaren (love the retro Mobil!) |
It does seem very congested down in the
pitlane. The cars have barely enough room to squeeze in and out of their areas.
The husband informs me knowledgeably this is because of the power-train. Who am
I to argue? Bottas takes full advantage of Kimi’s lock
up to move into 7th place. Kimi hasn’t been having the best of
weekends has he? Alonso pits on lap 36 and nicely disposes of the Hulk who has
the audacity to attempt a move past the Ferrari as it exits the pits.
But can I just mention along with the rest
of the universe how stunningly well Kevin Magnussen is driving. Utterly
flawless and totally composed in his first race in Formula 1. I think it might
just have found its newest star.
Bloody hell its lap 45 already? This race
has flown by. Just noticing that Ron Dennis who isn’t planning to attend any F1
races or play a hands on role is now in fact ON THE PIT WALL.
With now only 7 laps to go, its 1.
Rosberg, 2. Ricciardo, 4. Magnussen, 4. Button, 5. Alonso, 6. Bottas. I would SO love to see Button on the podium
although the three drivers ahead of him have driven so wonderfully as well. Not
the most impressive of starts for Ferrari. There wll be cataclysmic ruptions at
Di Montezemolo Towers.
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| Ricciardo with rookie Kevin Magnussen in close pursuit |
Magnussen is now breathing down
Ricciardo’s exhaust. I have just noticed that the McLaren cars are sponsored by
ASOS.com – how brilliant and very un-Formula 1. The husband of course has no
idea what ASOS is but says he keeps seeing emails from them <changes subject
quickly>
I love the way that even though obviously
Kevin is ridiculously fast his engineers keep reminding him what buttons to
press. But still: amazing. And we are now in the closing stages of the race
which to be honest (whisper it quietly) has been a little bit of a
procession. And as the chequered flag falls the top 3 who have been in podium
positions for nearly the whole race deservedly hang on to their prize. The
local crowd go absolutely delirious to see their boy Ricciardo come home in 2nd
place!
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| Nico Rosberg wins the first race of the season |
Here
are the results from the Australian Grand Prix 2014:
1. Rosberg – An imperious drive from start to finish.
2. Ricciardo – *
3. Magnussen – Absolutely sensational result on his
Formula 1 debut.
4. Button – Slightly gutted he missed out on a
podium but still a great drive from 11th on the grid.
5. Alonso – I think overall he will be disappointed but points are points and Vettel and Hamilton got none.
6. Bottas – Considering his early race incident, a
great fightback!
7. Hulkenberg – You know what he is always there or thereabouts whatever car you put him in.
8. Vergne – A fine first outing of the season.
9. Kvyat – The International Man of Mystery who
became the youngest points scorer in F1 (beating you know who’s record).
10. Perez
– I almost forgot he was
still in F1!
*Ooops. I feel like the Murray Walker kiss of
death. After
a stewards inquiry that went on for several
eternities, poor
Daniel Ricciardo got disqualified for exceeding the
fuel
flow limit. Red Bull are now appealing the decision
after branding
the FIA's fuel flow sensors as 'immature technology'.
It has
emerged that Red Bull was warned about their
fuel
flow levels during the race but chose to push on.
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| Red Bull - in the dock again |
Right now the jury is out on whether we
have a Brave New F1 World. After a lot
of hysterical speculation that we would see engines conking out all over the
place, we actually had a race that was dominated practically from start to finish
by one driver. We still had Alonso being held up by Hulkenberg (à la 2013). It
turns out that Red Bull isn’t as far off the pace as doomlord Christian Horner
had us believe (although it remains to be seen how much advantage their illegal
fuel flows gave them).
But we also witnessed two hugely
impressive debuts by Magnussen and Kvyat. And you have to hand it to Ron
Dennis. He’s only been back two minutes and already McLaren are leading the
Constructors Championship.
And just think in two weeks’ time we will be doing all
this again!
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