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| Mark Webber, only the second man to win two races this year! (Credit: Wikimedia Commons) |
Apparently 8 July 2012 was the biggest day in the world
of sport in my lifetime. Perhaps ever. Well maybe not but let's just pretend. Actually
when I put this notion to the husband, he mumbled something about Euro 1996. This
is the last time England was apparently good at football. Sixteen years of hurt
(mainly involving constantly losing in penalty shoots) and counting. Yawn.
My
nerves were utterly shredded even by lunchtime on Sunday with the imminent
start of the biggest motor race of the season AND the fact we had a British
player in the Wimbledon Final which was scheduled to begin one hour after the
race got underway. Total logistical nightmare. After consultation with fellow
tennis/F1 fanatics, I had a cunning plan which involved watching the build-up
and the first hour of the Grand Prix, moving across onto the tennis, then
catching up with the race after the tennis had ended. Beautiful in its
simplicity but so flawed in the execution.
Now
we are quite used to watching sporting events in a parallel time-delayed
universe but due to various unforeseen eventualities like me feeling ill (not
bed-ridden but just enough to find everything a massive struggle) and the
incessant torrential rain meaning the children were under our feet all
afternoon (unhelpfully standing in front of the television or wanting
assistance with making Star Wars lego at Crucial Moments) our best laid plans
imploded pretty rapidly. Oh yes, and one of the (many) monsoon rainstorms
actually caused our TV to lose satellite signal and STOP WORKING.
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| Federer - cruel slayer of a nation's dreams (Credit: Wikimedia Commons) |
Also
what I hadn’t factored in was that the Wimbledon Final would reach its
conclusion (when inevitably Federer would win and descend to heaven on a cloud
of smugness) just around the time of the kids’ tea-time and the start of the
long, tortuous slow process that normally lasts a couple of hours to get them
into bed. So I watched the last 30 laps of the Grand Prix at stupid o’clock late
on Sunday on iPlayer and only managed to catch up with the build-up and post-race
analysis on Monday and Tuesday. Needless to say, I have watched this race (in
several disjointed chunks) on the Beeb. If I was trying to get through it all
on Sky, I would be still blogging about the British GP during the middle of
Hockenheim qualifying. That could get quite confusing!
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| One helluva way to open a show |
And
it was an EPIC start to the BBC coverage. Jake Humphrey, David Coulthard and
Eddie Jordan were flying over Silverstone strapped vertically to the top of
small aeroplanes (awaits husband to post a nerd comment about the model and age
of said small aeroplanes). Still beat that for an intro, Sue Barker and Nice
but Tim. Obviously, I missed the intro to the tennis so its possible they might
have parachuted down onto Centre Court. We will never know.
Eddie
was sporting the Beatles-esque jacket that he got made for him when they all
went shopping in China a few races ago. Actually it did quite suit him but then
Eddie is…ahem…quite rock ‘n’ roll (more Bob Seger than Kurt Cobain obviously).
Sometimes, it is hard to believe that he ran an F1 team not all that long ago
and must have had to attend Team Principal meetings with Ron ‘death stare’
Dennis. DC had decided to opt for the ‘City banker on dress-down Friday’ look. He
is no fun. I dream of a time when he wears his ‘China’ jacket with the loudest possible
car print ever. Children in Need need to get onto this and sort something out
and whilst they’re at it, make Jezza Clarkson do something really embarrassing
all in the Name of Charidee…
Ah
a sudden glimpse of Monaco and a feature with DC and Jenson about the
triathlons that Jenson does in his spare time to unwind. As you do. Some people
take root on the sofa in front of Soccer Saturday for 3 hours or while away the
afternoon in a nice country pub. These F1 drivers are seriously mad. The French
Riviera and the Italian Riviera just look flipping gorgeous. I had almost
forgotten what sun looked like. *Sticks both destinations on holiday wish-list
for when we win the lottery.
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| Her Maj - quite clued up on F1 apparently (Credit: Wikimedia Commons) |
Apparently
Jenson met the Queen once and she was surprisingly knowledgeable. I like to
think the Queen quizzed him on how much of advantage he gained from the Brawn
double diffuser and why he is struggling to cope with the lack of rear end
downforce this season. Still I suspect Martin Whitmarsh would quite like an answer to
the last question.
Back
to the pitlane where Jake, DC and Eddie were having a chat about Jenson’s disappointing
performances (whilst standing outside Jenson’s garage and poor old John Button was a mere 5 metres away). Stick the knife in guys why don’t you! I’m not sure of
the wisdom of having the pre-match chat right in the pitlane as we couldn’t
actually hear most of what they were saying over the screeching engines of F1
cars. One of the biggest relevations from going to a F1 race is how stupendously loud
F1 cars really are. I seem to remember we had to run around Monaco after the
first practice session to buy emergency ear-plugs. Those were the days. Wistful
sigh.
And
we already had our first casualty of the race. Before the race had even started. Vitaly Petrov’s car was smoking a lot
and turned out they had lost the engine. One Caterham down, one to go.
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| Some F1 drivers on the back of a lorry (Credit: Wikimedia Commons) |
Lee
McKenzie was on board the Drivers Parade Lorry (don’t know why but I always find
it quite amusing to see the drivers all piled onto a trailer and getting carted
around the track). Lewis was quite overwhelmed at all the flags 'just for him
and Jenson'. I hate to break it to Lewis but there were quite a lot of flags for
other drivers as well! Jenson seemed quite upbeat but was clearly praying for
rain. Fernando had been briefed as to the vagaries of the English Summer and
was in full arctic explorer gear. He even had a woolly hat on. Its July for
crying in a bucket.
Next
up (after some more waffle which I may have fast-forwarded) was David Coulthard’s gridwalk (no hashtag for
obvious reasons). And the first person he bumped into was Martin Brundle doing
the #MartinsGridWalk. DC then spotted Derek Warwick, the president of the BRDC.
Derek told us that apparently this is the race that all drivers want to win,
along with Monaco and Monza. Er, what about Spa? Anyway our first Random Celebrity at a
Race was…drum-roll please…Goldie. At the risk of sounding like Alan Partridge,
Goldie is described on Wikipedia as English electronic music artist, disc
jockey, visual
artist and actor.
I best remember him from Eastenders which says it all really. DC then did a
‘John Terry’ and blundered into a photo that was being taken of Mark Webber with some minor celebrity. Usual Mark Webber interview – he spoke very fast, seemed pretty
chipper, everything was bonzer etc.
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| Hugh Grant looking suave (Credit: Wikimedia Commons) |
DC
then walked up and down the pitlane FOR AN ETERNITY without actually
interviewing anyone. There weren’t any drivers loitering about but surely there
must have been gazillions of celebs to pounce on. Eventually he just told the
poor camera-man to take the lead and ended up interviewing Gary Anderson who
works for the BBC. Then Eddie Jordan suddenly reappeared to say he had located Hugh Grant. Well
that was more like it! Eddie was straight in with a producer-fed question about
a science fiction movie that Hugh is currently making. Apparently Hugh plays
six small evil parts in the film, wears a lot of prosthetic make-up and its the
most expensive independent movie ever made. Hmmm think I’ll give that one a
miss. As the interview lurched out of Eddie’s control, we rapidly flipped back
to Jake ‘safe hands’ Humphrey. As grid-walks go, that one was an unmitigated
disaster.
As
the start of the race approached, the sun was shining. Absolutely typical. The
worst summer ever, ever, ever (sorry I know I’m obsessed) and we don’t even get
the prospect of a wet British Grand Prix. Stamps feet.
The
build-up signed off with a final beautiful montage involving Murray Walker,
Elgar and flashes of Damon Hill, Ayrton Senna, Nigel Mansell, Sterling Moss and
Jim Clark. Although I did note that footage of Schumacher was shown in the background
as Murray talked of ‘villains stalking the stage’. The Beeb just can’t help
themselves.
Time For the Start and Go Go Go...! Unhelpfully, it appeared
that the camera man filming the start of the race was strapped to one of those small
bi-planes that we saw at the very start. The overhead shot was so distant that
you could hardly make anything out. Still its not as if the start is crucial or
anything.
The front runners all got away cleanly and, unless my eyes were
deceiving me, it looked like Massa had passed Vettel. With the race barely
seconds old, it had all gone wrong for Paul Di Resta who had picked up a
puncture after contact with Romain Grosjean. It turned out to be terminal for poor
old Paul. I remember wondering at the time whether this was a bad omen. Both
Paul Di Resta and Andy Murray being Scottish and all that. And it was. *bursts
into tears at the memory of the Wimbledon Final.
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| Felipe Massa (working hard to stay in F1 next year) (Credit: Wikimedia Commons) |
Button meanwhile had a storming start and was furiously scrapping
with Grosjean and Perez but just as Grosjean re-passed Button, Perez also
slipped by. Further up the track, Vettel
was all over Massa and for a while they were racing alongside each other but
Massa (yes, really!) quite brilliantly managed to hold his position and then began
swarming all over the back of Schumacher. Steady on, Felipe...know your place lad!
Lap 5 and time for Lewis to get on the blower reporting that he
had no pace. Not really a situation you want to be in at your home Grand Prix.
Meanwhile Schumacher was holding up a lot of cars in his slowish Mercedes which
was manna from heaven for Alonso and Webber cruising off into the distance.
Schuey fought Massa off valiantly for a few laps but on lap 12 he yielded his
position. I really hoped for more from Mercedes – generally speaking but
especially on a cold, damp circuit like Silverstone. Might be time for Norbert to
open the cheque-book, leave the amount blank and hand it to Adrian Newey.
The first flood of pitstops were now underway with little drama
or incident, even for McLaren. Oh yes, that’s right, their drivers hadn’t come
in yet. Turned out that Bad Driver Maldonaldo had rocked up to the British
Grand Prix. His unwitting victim today was poor old Sergio Perez who was just
minding his own business when Maldonaldo clattered into him and promptly terminated
his race. I quizzed the husband some more about why he likes Maldonaldo and he
said he reminded him of Senna. Yes, he really meant Ayrton not Bruno (I did
check!). I get more sense from the 5 year old.
Lap 16 and Alonso pitted for the usual military precision
Ferrari pitstop and he emerged ahead of Mark Webber. Button, was now running in
8th place and yet to stop. Just as I started pondering whether a vintage
Button drive, surging up through the grid to a podium/win was on the cards
(forgetting temporarily the complete aberration that is his 2012 season), he
was caught napping
and was passed by Vettel for 7th place. Next up to have a sniff was Massa
who also overtook Jenson. So after that minor catastrophe, Button skulked off
into the pits for new tyres.
I suddenly realised that
Lewis hadn’t stopped and was now LEADING the race. It seemed like it took a
very long time for the commentators to notice this stunning fact. Ok, he still
hadn’t pitted but lets try and cling on to some excitement guys!
So a quick round up of
where we were on lap 18 – 1. Lewis 2. Alonso 3. Webber 4. Vettel 5. Massa 6.
Schuey.
There was a truly
fantastic tussle between those two former ‘no love lost’ team-mates, Lewis and
Alonso. First Alonso took the lead, then Lewis somehow clawed the lead back
even on his shot-to-pieces tyres while Alonso was using DRS. Talk about putting
a show on for the fans! Sadly Lewis couldn’t hold on but that little cameo was
pure racing magic at its best. And on lap 21, Lewis pitted and the McLaren
Disastometer of Doom didn’t even flicker. It was in fact the fastest pitstop of
the day so far. Maybe they did give the Sky F1 team new jobs after all although
I secretly like to think Ron Dennis had replaced the pitlane crew with some
cloned Orcs.
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| Will this car win a race this season? (Credit: Wikimedia Commons) |
Lewis fed back into 7th
place just behind a very close battle between Schuey and Kimi. That Lotus looks
so freaking fast – its actually a mystery how a Lotus hasn’t won a single race
so far this year. I might go and see what odds you could get on that. Well
realistically I won’t probably do this but as and when Lotus win a race, I can
sit back smugly and say ‘yeh I would have put money on that’. I’ll never die
rich that’s for sure. Kimi and then Lewis passed Schuey. The 3rd
place in qualifying that promised so much was being gradually eroded by the
fact that Schuey was driving a car that wasn’t much faster than a Volvo.
We heard on the airwaves
that Perez had been ranting about Maldonaldo, the new Senna (hehehehe!). How he
doesn’t respect drivers, how everyone is concerned about him (not in a good
way) and how the stewards have to do something. He is a real old conundrum is
Pastor – unlike a lot of irresponsible drivers, he does seem quite talented but
then again has an unfortunate habit of crashing into people. A lot.
Yikes, Hamilton was
suddenly back in for another pitstop. Deliberate strategy or was the middle
stint not going as planned or maybe the Orcs needed to cut and run? So in he
came, and out he came behind Rosberg and Button. No matter, Lewis was in front
of both of them by lap 32 but then had the much more troublesome matter of
Grosjean to deal with who was looking very nippy on the prime tyre.
We were now well into the
next and presumably final round of pitstops unless you were unlucky enough to
get Maldonaldo-ed before the end of the race. In came Vettel, Kimi, Schuey and
Webber in quick succession meaning for a brief few momentary moments, we had a
Ferrari 1-2. Slight Portent Alert, after his pitstop, Webber started really
motoring and reeling off one fastest lap after another.
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| Gary Anderson who works for the BBC now |
Gary Anderson, technical analyst extraordinaire, told
us that Alonso should be aiming to stop around lap 42 and in that time, Webber
would need to try and reduce the gap to 15 seconds. BUT NO, on LAP 38, Alonso
came into the pitstops meaning he would have to do 14 laps on those tyres. This
isn’t what Gary predicted. Uh oh, as the 1 year old would say.
Not wanting to be outdone
by Maldonaldo as the ‘enfant terrible’ of F1, Kamui Kobayashi decided on a
kamikaze pitstop to liven things up. Trying to run over your mechanics isn’t
really going to give your race the boost it needs. Some post-race research confirms
that three mechanics were hit but none were seriously injured thankfully.
So with nine laps to do,
Webber was only 3.5 seconds behind Alonso. Gary Anderson told us that Alonso
currently had some tyre graining so Webber would need to make his move before
Alonso’s tyre performance cleared up. Man, its those pesky tyres again. I have
learnt more this year about tyres (although to be fair, I knew diddly squat at
the start of the year) than during all my many years of following F1.
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| A slow car overtakes an even slower car (see Schumacher, M and Hamilton, L) |
Lap 47 and we had the
slightly bizarre sight of a slow Mercedes driven by Schuey overtaking the even
slower McLaren of Hamilton. Hmmm, Lewis was not kidding when he said his car
had no pace. Meanwhile the battle between last year’s winner and the year
before’s winner (Alonso and Webber) was sensationally close but it was going to
be very hard to see how Alonso could hang on. Maybe in a pre-KERS world, a
genius driver like Alonso could have found a way to defend his lead. On lap 48,
Webber pulled a stunning move on Alonso to pass him on the outside at
Brooklands to LEAD the British Grand Prix.
The Hulk (of whom we
don’t hear much) had been pootling around anonymously in 9th place
when with one lap to go, Senna and then Button passed him. Was it worth
including that? Ah well, I’ve typed it now. And so, finally, passing the chequered flag in first place was Mark Webber.
So here
are the results from the British Grand Prix 2012:
1. Webber
– A peerless drive with a stand-out overtaking move to win the race at the end.
2. Alonso – Did a great job
but Ferrari need to up their game with tyre/pit strategies.
3. Vettel – Looks over at
supposedly inferior team-mate enviously…
4. Massa – There’s life in
the old Felipe yet, well there's still a detectable pulse.
5. Kimi – Good, solid race.
How un-Kimi.
6.
Grosjean – Did extremely well to get 6th after
the disaster near the start.
So we have our second
repeat winner and it is NOT a former world Champion. Hearty back-slapping
congrats to Mark Webber who really seems like a top bloke. He is only 13 points
being Alonso which is most impressive and wouldn’t it be fantastic to see him taking
the title challenge down to the wire.
Now is probably a good
time to have a quick canter through the driver standings:
1. Alonso – 129 points
2. Webber – 116 points
3. Vettel – 100 points
4. Hamilton – 92 points
5. Raikkonen – 83 points
6.
Rosberg – 75 points
And sneaking a peak at
the constructors’ standings: 1. Red Bull – 216 points, 2. Ferrari – 152 points,
3. Lotus – 144 points and 4. McLaren 142 points. Holy Cow. McLaren is in 4th
place behind Lotus. Who’da thunk it!
Hockenheimring. Two weeks time. See you then!
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