Hungarian Grand Prix - The Race

Hungary is a lot like Monaco. It may not throw up an exciting race very often but when it does, they are truly magnificent spectacles. I warmed up for Sunday's race by watching (and therefore making the poor husband watch as well but he owes me big time for the entire month of televisual viewing of the World Cup) the awesome Hungarian Grand Prix of 1998 (one of my favourite races of all time) which I stumbled across while channel-hopping late last Saturday night. Rock 'n' roll baby.

Unusually we watched the race (as if live) in the evening after a frantic and fraught (and possibly another f-word) day in Bluewater getting last minute stuff for our holiday. We are now on the open seas heading towards Bilbao in the most heavenly weather. Without question this is the most gorgeous setting that I have ever blogged from (to be fair the other venues are my kitchen, Center Parcs and rainy Ireland so not much to beat). Usually it is around this point on our holiday that we realise some crucial thing has been forgotten or we have booked accommodation for the wrong dates but for now I'm in a happy place, especially when I think back to last Sunday's race. Quite simply the Hungarian Grand Prix of 2014 joins the pantheon of great F1 races. IMHO the best race of the season so far (and this deceptively excellent season has offered up some fantastic races so far).

Before I delve into #MartinsGridwalk, its eat-my-hat time - I have to say how well I think Simon Lazenby has grown into his role as frontman/presenter. Back in his first season (which was also Sky's first season - important to remember) I was very unsure he was the right man for the job (and at times I'll admit I was a bit critical, okay quite scathing) but credit where it's due he has improved leaps and bounds and is building up a great rapport with the rest of the presenter team. 

So what did Le Brundle have for us? First up it was Paul Hembery (head honcho at Pirelli). You may remember Paul as dead man walking last year when all the tyres were disintegrating after 5 laps (greatly vexing the likes of Christian Horner). These days Paul is a new man full of joie de vivre while Christian Horner is dating Geri Halliwell. Funny how fortunes can change so much in a year. Anyhow, the heavens had literally just opened all over the Hungaroring and Paul thought it was a 50/50 call between inter conditions and wets. The cars were still going round and round trying to decide with a mere 20 minutes until the start of the race. Nervous times.

Martin then tried to make his way over to Sebastian Vettel who was having A Very Serious Chat with his engineer and instead ended up getting a curt brush off from David Coulthard (who does a good line in curt). The lovely Tanja from German Sky TV who was wafting past was much friendlier to Martin. The F1 equivalent of Dawn and Tim from the Office (yes, I've been drinking!). Martin had a very quick chat with Jenson Button and Danil Kvyat both of whom said it was wet and interesting out there (certainly a prescient comment by Kvyat who ended up stuck on the grid during the formation lap). So folks, show time!

Lights out and Go Go Go! A very surreal start to a F1 race seeing the cars racing flat out along the first long straight to turn 1. A numbers of cars were wobbling out on track. Lewis was reporting problems with his front right brakes and Alonso's Ferrari was twitching all over the place. After things settled down, the front order early doors shook out as follows: 1. Rosberg, 2. Bottas, 3. Vettel, 4. Alonso, 5. Button and 6. Ricciardo. But the Weather Monitor of Doom predicted rain within 5 minutes. Rosberg and Hamilton (rapidly climbing up through the field) were looking very raggedy and Bottas was driving brilliantly to keep Vettel at bay. To recap, a Williams was holding off a Red Bull. How quickly the F1 landscape can change!

Safety Car Klaxon!!! Ericsson was the culprit with a monumental smash on lap 9. Most of the cars all bolted into the pits to whack on some slicks except Jenson Button who went onto inters. That's a mighty big gamble by McLaren. It takes some doing to crash under safety car conditions but Grosjean was the man to rise to the challenge so having just been called in, the safety car was told to stay out. Rosberg was complaining of 'something in the brakes'. Meanwhile the 20 million dollar question (especially for Jenson Button) was when is the rain coming?!

Lap 14 and racing in anger resumed once again. Button almost immediately passed Ricciardo to take the LEAD of the race and was then told that rain was looking a lot less likely. Bugger. Not McLaren's finest hour ever. Poor old Jenson. Hamilton was now doing a Senna-esque charge through the field and managed to take FOUR PLACES in one sector to move up to 9th. We were told it was clearly now Hammertime - a phrase that has been recently adopted by the media which irrationally irritates me. In a contrast of Mercedes fortunes, Rosberg was going backwards. Having tried and failed to take Magnussen, he was passed by Vergne and now found himself in a 3 way battle with Vettel and Hamilton (now up to 7th) for 5th place. Not where he would have wanted to be AT ALL. Even more calamitous was Jenson's race - after that suicidal pitstop decision, he dived into the pits on lap 16 to get the slicks he should have had put on 5 laps earlier. Bugger.

Ah a Maldonado crash (into Bianchi). Another tick on the F1 race bingo. Quite amazingly the fastest laps were now being set by Fernando Alonso. We hadn't seen that from a Ferrari for a very long time. The leading cars were now 1. Ricciardo, 2. Massa, 3. Alonso and 4. Vergne. Yes, Vergne was miraculously STILL ahead of Rosberg. 'Curiouser and curiouser' said Alice. Actually the real Alice was actually saying on loop "I want the red car to win". Ah those were the days. Or did she know something I didn't?!

Yet another Safety Car Klaxon (for the second time in this race) after a mahoosive crash by Perez. Cue pitstops galore and the main point I noted (not necessarily the key point but the only one I noted!) was that Hamilton was now sandwiched between the two Red Bulls. Given his race started in the pit lane in LAST place this represented stunning progress. Vergne was STILL defying all the odds and keeping the Silver Arrows of Rosberg firmly in his rear mirrors. Vergne's brilliant defensive driving was holding up a train of cars allowing Fernando Alonso to increase his narrow and precious lead lap by lap. Eventually on lap 33, Rosberg pitted from 3rd and to compound his bad luck had a slow stop before rejoining back in 13th. 

Hamilton (unlike his team-mate it has to be said) wasted no time in passing Vergne in a brilliantly clinical move on lap 34 and so at the halfway point, the top order was 1. Alonso, 2. Hamilton, 3. Ricciardo (going very nicely on fresh tyres), 4. Massa and 5. Kimi. Alonso was now getting all sorts of radio messages in different languages - always a sign that things are afoot at Ferrari! After the next round of pitstops, Ricciardo was leading the race on lap 45 and fragments of seconds split Alonso, Hamilton (who was now complaining of a hot seat...ouch!) and Rosberg. Well game bloody on.

Grandstand finish here we come and best of all we had the prospect of a mouthwatering Ros v Ham duel for the first time in a good few races. In a baffling intervention from Mercedes over the radio, Hamilton was told not to hold Rosberg up. Hamilton's response? "I'm not slowing down for Nico". Cue much complaining from Nico. Well a few points here in Hamilton's defence (please take note - you know who you are!):

1. Rosberg was no way near close enough (ie. not even in DRS range!) to Hamilton to warrant the imposition of team orders.

2. Rosberg still had to pit again (with all the variables that another pitstop brings) and Hamilton couldn't be totally sure that he himself wouldn't need to pit.

3. Ricciardo probably also had to pit so Lewis could not afford to give away 2 seconds in slowing for his team-mate. Oh and Alonso (still in front of Lewis and eminently catch-able in an inferior Ferrari) was not going to pit again so every second was vital.

Slam dunk as they say.

And sure enough on lap 55, Ricciardo came into the pits (as did Rosberg just two laps later). Alonso was now leading the Hungarian Grand Prix. How long has it been since Ferrari were in with a real shout of winning a F1 race? With an agonising 8 laps to go (if you were sat in the the Ferrari/Mercedes/Red Bull garage or in my house!), the first three cars (Alonso, Hamilton and Ricciardo) were separated by just hundredths of seconds. You simply could not call it and for good measure Rosberg had decided to join the party by putting in some blistering laps to slash the gap between himself and the leading three.

With a couple of laps to go, it was Ricciardo who seized the opportunity to go for glory by passing Hamilton and then Alonso (who had been clinging onto the lead for the last few laps by deploying every ounce of his tremendous racecraft) to take the LEAD of the race and then serenely pull away from the chasing pack. We were then treated to a stunningly exciting final lap as Alonso heroically battled to keep the mighty Silver Arrows at bay, ultimately succeeding to bring a very average Ferrari home in a truly magnificent second place behind race-winner, Daniel Ricciardo.

Hamilton took 3rd spot (ahead of Rosberg) which was simply a phenomenal performance of immense skill and tenacity given that he started last. Oddly he seemed dejected after the race. Lewis needs to learn how to be kinder to himself. He came home ahead of his team-mate (the pole sitter) after the aberration of qualifying which is more than he could possibly have hoped for (and Nico would definitely have to consider Hungary as 13 points lost). The remaining points were taken by Massa in 5th, Kimi in 6th, Vettel in 7th, Bottas in 8th, Vergne in 9th and Button in 10th.

Hamilton is now just eleven points behind Rosberg in the championship race which sets us up for a thrilling second half of the season. But first we have the summer break which almost cruelly interrupts the ferocious battle at the top of the championship just as it reached fever-pitch once again. But we can all draw breath, go on holiday (we have literally just disembarked in Bilbao and the 7 year old is already planning his visit to the Nou Camp once we make our way across to Catalunya!) and prepare ourselves for the return of hostilities at the Greatest Track in F1, the Spa-Francorchamps Circuit. Could the opening of Act II have a more befitting and majestic stage?!

Happy holidays everyone.





   

Monaco Grand Prix – The Race

The clouds of war are gathering

The Monaco Grand Prix of 2014 was one of those rare Monaco races. One which was thoroughly engrossing and tension-packed from start to finish and full of flat out racing. There was even a smidgen of audaciously brilliantly overtaking, most outrageously Hulkenberg on Magnussen at Portiers. No one EVER in the history of Monaco has overtaken at Portiers. Normally you only get epic Monaco races when there are monsoon conditions or multiple pile-ups decimate half the field throwing up a leftfield result.

The top three from qualifying, Rosberg, Hamilton and Ricciardo, ended up on the podium in exactly the same order (admittedly only just and the tightest battle in the closing stages was NOT between the two Mercedes cars). We had yet another Mercedes 1-2 (for the fifth race in a row) and just like last year, Nico Rosberg drove immaculately to lead the race from start to finish.

Rosberg driving serenely to victory around Monaco

And yet the Monaco Grand Prix was so much more thrilling and unpredictable than those stark facts suggest. Rosberg’s victory was the perfect shot in the arm for the title race. Given the immense superiority of the Mercedes and the huge tally of points their drivers have accrued, it is probably already a two horse race for the title. Rosberg’s win in Monaco finally arrested the runaway momentum of Hamilton’s 4 consecutive race wins and not a moment too soon. But far more importantly the controversial events of qualifying (don’t worry, I’m not going there again!) seemed to rattle Hamilton’s fragile psyche to such a point that he openly criticised his team during and after the race. Damon Hill wasn’t far off the mark when he said the only person who could beat Lewis Hamilton was Lewis Hamilton himself. Behind the top 3, there were some remarkable drives and performances and the joyous scenes of a team winning their first points ever in Formula 1 at Monaco of all places.

The start of the Monaco Grand Prix

I was as nervous at the start as I have been for a very long time. And of course after all the talk and hysteria there was no Senna-inspired vengeful coming together between Hamilton and Rosberg in the run to turn one. The fact that Rosberg led coming out of Ste Devote was hugely significant to the eventual outcome but the fact remains he drove faultlessly for 78 laps around the mean streets of Monaco under extreme pressure from his team-mate for almost the entire distance. One error or lock-up or lapse in concentration and Hamilton would have been ready to pounce.

The other crucial development in cementing the order that the two Mercedes cars came home was the decision to delay bringing in both cars to the pits until after the Safety Car was deployed following Sutil’s crash on lap 25. Hamilton was quick to berate his team for not bringing him in earlier and remarked pointedly “I can’t believe we just had to pit. Can you just inform me of what options I have? We should have pitted on that lap before but I knew you wouldn’t call me in, guys.”

No Monaco GP is complete without an appearance from the Safety Car

When asked to elaborate after the race he explained that Mercedes have a centralised strategy and the car in front gets priority. Lewis pointed out it had been completely different at McLaren where they had the luxury and advantage of one strategist each per driver. Imagine how chuffed Mercedes must be to hear themselves upbraided by one of their drivers in front of the world’s media. Not cool Lewis and most definitely not the kind of thing Ayrton Senna would have done. Senna was a team-player through and through. Presumably when Lewis was in the ‘car in front’, he benefited from Mercedes’ rule in Bahrain and Spain. So really he needs to get over himself.

Lewis piling the pressure on Rosberg but he was unable to find a way past

The battle raged on for lap after lap and the outcome was by no means certain especially when we heard that Nico was having to save a lot of fuel. With just over ten laps to go, the cat and mouse race abruptly tailed off as Lewis Hamilton suddenly dropped back. Lewis told the team he had something in his eye affecting his visibility and he was trying to open his visor and clean it out at slow-speed corners. When Mercedes updated Lewis on the gap to Ricciardo in 3^rd place, Lewis retorted that he wanted information on the gap to Nico not Ricciardo.

Turned out that he had far more reason to worry about Daniel Ric who sensed a chance of second place and was driving like a man possessed! Monaco being Monaco, it was nigh on impossible for Ricciardo to overtake but for the first time this season we saw another team almost matching Mercedes wheel for wheel in a race. What an impressive season Daniel Ricciardo is having! Totally outshining, out-qualifying and out-driving his teammate which is all the more mind-bogglingly brilliant as said teammate is the not-too-shabby Sebastian Vettel (of four back-to-back drivers’ titles fame). Vettel’s difficult and frustrating unfortunately season continued at Monaco when he was forced to retire on lap 8 after a string of techical problems.

The immensely likeable Daniel Ricciardo celebrating his first podium at Monaco

Fernando Alonso was the best of the rest in 4^th place with what Brundle rightly called an anonymous race. Kimi Raikkonen had a phenomenal start to move into 3^rd place only for his race to disintegrate when he suffered a puncture just after pitting under the safety car. Desperately bad luck and you sensed his frustration when he attempted a dubious move on Kevin Magussen that ended up terminating his race.

Nico Hulkenberg was an impressive 5^th, Button 6^th, Massa 7^th and Grosjean 8^th (a quite remarkable achievement in the twitchy Lotus). The second biggest talking point though of the day was the tremendous result for Marussia with Jules Bianchi finishing in 9^th place. You wait 83 races for a single point and then two come along together. In the best place to celebrate on earth! Bianchi actually crossed over the line in 8^th place but was awarded a 5 second penalty which dropped him down a place. It is a result which could be worth over £20m to the team when prize money is divvied up at the end of the season. On a day where #magicofmonaco was trending, it was wonderful to have a feelgood, heartwarming story in the paddock. And with so much talk of rivalries and the dog-eat-dog world of F1, it was lovely to see a congratulatory tweet from Fernando Alonso to Jules Bianchi on his fantastic result.

Jubilant scenes at Marussia as they celebrate their first points finish in Formula 1

Oddly, as a massive Benedict Cumberbatch fan, I felt slightly disappointed that he was on interview duty. This was really a race that deserved the incisive questioning of Martin Brundle or even some off-the-wall “Lewis, how gutted are you to come second?” lunatic prattle from Eddie Jordan. But then like gridwalks, Monaco doesn’t really do podiums. Lewis scuttled off presumably to lock himself into a darkened room even while Brundle was still interviewing Daniel Ricciardo. Ideally I think drivers should give other drivers on the podium the small courtesy of waiting until they have been interviewed.

Lovely Benedict manning up though a UN peace-keeping envoy might be advisable for the next race

I think many expected the rivalry at Mercedes to intensify during the season but no one expected relations to implode so spectacularly as they have done. Even Prost and Senna didn’t declare war on each other after only 6 races of a season. After the race Lewis made clear his feelings on Nico Rosberg to the assembled media “We are not friends, we are colleagues”.

Rosberg’s view – "We've always been friends, we always will be friends but friends is a big word. What exactly is friends? We have a good relationship and work well together."

Nico and Lewis - the early years

It was glaringly obvious after the race that the two Mercedes drivers did not shake hands or even acknowledge each other. It is hard to see a way back from this for Hamilton and Rosberg. The boyhood friendship which dated back to when they were 13 is well and truly over. The accusations have already got too personal and this weekend we have witnessed a seismic shift in their relationship. The huge challenge now for the Mercedes Team is how to best harness the considerable talents of two drivers at war in a title-winning car without jeopardising the team as a whole. We may well still see one of the drivers take a ‘page out of Senna’s book’ before the end of the season.

Next up it is the fantabulous Canadian Grand Prix which usually is a cracker. For the statistically minded it is where Lewis Hamilton won his first race and he has triumphed there 3 times in total. Does that give him a slight psychological edge?

To be continued…

Australian Grand Prix – The Race

The class of 2014

Its stupid o’clock. 5am to be precise. I must be clinically insane. Even the 3 year is still asleep. I am also feeling the teensiest bit jaded but with all that dewy bright-eyed first race enthusiasm I have managed to haul myself out of bed in time for the start of the Australian Grand Prix. I might not achieve anything else today but I have managed to do this.

6am on Sunday morning

How fitting that the Sky team opened the show with a dignified and heartfelt mention of Michael Schumacher still fighting for his life 11 weeks after his horrific accident. In Melbourne, the teams have apparently decided not to discuss Schumacher's condition publicly out of respect for him and his family but many of the F1 teams have held tributes, including his former Mercedes and Ferrari teams. Mercedes has the #KeepFightingMichael banner on its cars, as does Ferrari with #ForzaMichael. It is all so desperately sad and I pray every day that he turns the corner and there will be some positive news.

#KeepFightingMichael

I wasn’t sure how I felt about the new F1 season starting with the events of the winter but now it is here I am glad. I think a lot of F1 fans need the excitement of a brand new chapter in F1 to focus on. One of my favourite Sky features from last season is the Damon Hill and Johnny Herbert ‘behind the scenes’ at different tracks. It shouldn’t work but it totally does as you can tell they get on brilliantly and perfectly complement each other. Today Damon and Johnny are catching up with Alan Jones and we discover there is a real-life ‘Alan Jones Boulevard’ in the Melbourne paddock. I love the choice of the word ‘boulevard’ as if Alan Jones was a highbrow Alain Prost kind of figure when he is possibly The Most Australian Person on the Planet. I loved his no nonsense assessment of Daniel Ricciardo “he’s got that lovely smile but grows horns at the right time”. Please let him be doing the after-race interviews.

Alan Jones winning Williams' first world championship in 1980

Suddenly its time for the very first #MartinsGridWalk of the season! I might have missed a bit of the build-up there due to extreme sleep deprivation and the arrival downstairs of the 3 year old. I’ve just noticed though lots of people on the grid are wearing little pink shirt badges in memory of Jenson Button’s father. How lovely.

For old times

There are NO cars at the front of the grid yet. But we have Sir Jackie Stewart who will never turn down an interview. JYS likes this new F1 and finds the new sound is more comfortable on his ears. Bless. And its our First Random Celebrity at a Race of the season – its Miss Dannii Minogue. Told you! Although she is a big Jenson fan (is she?), she is obviously supporting Daniel Ricciardo and says the pressure is on Lewis and would like some rain to spice things up. Does anyone else remember when she was engaged to Jacques Villeneuve? Blimey she dodged a bullet there.

Apparently Kevin Magnussen doesn’t want to talk on the grid this year. Hmmm methinks Ron Dennis might have had a word in the producer’s shell-like to ensure the full media spotlight isn’t thrust on his young driver. Talking of media spotlights, there is predictably a huge media scrum around Daniel Ricciardo while he tries to have some really important conversation with his engineers. He said the practice starts have been ok but everyone is a bit up and down with starts.

We get an ‘time filler’ close up of the hideously ugly Ferrari of Alonso then the two Toro Rosso’s that qualified so well. Apparently the last teenager before Kvyat to qualify in the top 10 was Sebastian Vettel.  Well who knew? Though we probably could have guessed. After a chat with Eric Bouillier that I instantly forgot, Martin found the ever affable and loquacious Christian Horner. Apparently Seb has had some software issues but at the moment it is okay. Portent of Doom Alert.

Remember Martin Whitmarsh? Nope, didn't think so

Darth Vader aka Ron Dennis has been spotted but will he grant an audience?! Reluctantly yes. He thinks fuel consumption, tyre degradation and reliability will be an issue. So not much then. The biggest challenge will be juggling fuel consumption – if you drop off the pace too much to save on fuel then you start to lose temperature in the tyres. He thinks its going to be a good season but fans shouldn’t judge things on one race and said menacingly that qualifying was after all exciting. Ron, we wouldn’t dare argue. Loved Damon’s comments afterwards on Ron that “he was looking imperious and giving Brundle the full sneer!” Couldn’t have put it better myself. Not that he was shaking in his boots or anything but still it’s the most nervous I have ever seen Brundle.

Final word is with Nico Hulkenberg. He is pretty confident but mused how confident can you be in the first race of the season. Then Martin left him in peace to eat his banana.

Its time to get this F1 season underway. Five lights and (you couldn’t make it up) its an aborted start. You are freaking kidding me. There is another broken down Marussia, that of Jules Bianchi (to join the other broken down Marussia of Max Chilton on the formation lap). Still its not like they are on limited fuel or anything. Oh.

Well here we go again. And its Go! Go! Go! at the Australian Grand Prix. And Rosberg makes a stunning start from third to leapfrog Hamilton and Ricciardo to take the lead. Meanwhile Massa’s Williams has crashed out after Kobayashi in the Caterham basically slid in him. I seem to remember we have been here before with Kobayashi. Just gutted for Massa.

First lap carnage thanks to Kobayashi

And Kevin Magnussen (who I have discovered is the son of Jan Magnussen who I remember racing in F1 not that long ago – weeps at advancing age) just gobbles up Lewis Hamilton to move into 3^rd place. And is that a Force India mixing it with the big boys? Of course its Hulkenberg who is now in 4^th place. 

Distressing news to report I know but Vettel appears to have a problem of sorts. Endless start replays show that he basically just went backwards. Curiouser and curiouser. Now Lewis has been ordered to retire to save the engine and then moments later is told to stay out. Its lap 2 and my brain is fried. Oh dear now Hamilton is coming in to retire. He is reporting no power and has a problem with the gearbox. What a crushing disappointment that will be.

No one else appears to have noticed that Kimi (who qualifed in 11^th place) is now up in 6^th place. How did that happen? And how much am I enjoying seeing the Williams easily overtaking cars (even before DRS is even enabled) and seeing the new kids on the block driving out there without fear and with total confidence. I think this season will mark a changing of the guard…

Bottas driving for Williams 

And now the reigning world champion (it feels like since forever) Sebastian Vettel is out after some very narked exchanges with his mechanics snapping “that’s ridiculous” when told his KERS wasn’t working properly. Not that the Red Bull is actually looking all that shabby this season (funny that) but Vettel is a right stroppy teenager when he’s up against it.

And just as we’re following Bottas, he clatters into the wall and ends up with a puncture. It did look he was driving too hard if such a thing is possible in F1. Probably a good thing I’m not a race engineer as I’d be berating the driver as opposed to the correct approach of the Williams engineer calmly asking him to box as if it was a scheduled pitstop.

Bottas’ small wall altercation gives us our first appearance of the Safety Car for the season (so another tick on the F1 Bingo sheet). Cue a multiple round of pitstops. The main loser turns out to be Kimi who lost quite a lot of time while the team brought in Alonso first. Welcome to life as a number two, Kimi. I know what Ferrari say but I don’t believe them. 

They might have matching sunglasses but we all know who is no.1 and who is no.2 

And now, as if there wasn’t enough drama with false starts, pole-sitter and world champion retirements and safety cars, there is light rain is falling on parts of the track. Although the Weather Monitor of Hope says it should miss most of the track. Really? I have to say that sky looks very dark and sinister.

On lap 16 the race re-starts properly. Again. So lets have a quick round up of the top order on lap 20:

1.    Nico Rosberg

2.    Ricciardo

3.    Magnussen

4.    Hulkenberg

5.    Alonso

6.    Button

By lap 32 (I may have nodded off) we have already had 15 retirements, the latest ones now being Ericsson and Maldonado. Meanwhile, Rosberg is beginning to open up an ominously massive gap at the front. Bottas has impressively fought his way through the field and is now gaining on Kimi in 8^th. And for all their much heralded shiteness, the two Lotus cars are somehow running 13^th and 14^th. Button pits on lap 33 and its possible that could be his last pitstop. He is running very nicely indeed. Bizarrely a bit of the giant anteater nose on his car falls off when its jacked up in the pits but no one seems too fussed.

Jenson Button in the new style McLaren (love the retro Mobil!)

It does seem very congested down in the pitlane. The cars have barely enough room to squeeze in and out of their areas. The husband informs me knowledgeably this is because of the power-train. Who am I to argue? Bottas takes full advantage of Kimi’s lock up to move into 7^th place. Kimi hasn’t been having the best of weekends has he? Alonso pits on lap 36 and nicely disposes of the Hulk who has the audacity to attempt a move past the Ferrari as it exits the pits.

But can I just mention along with the rest of the universe how stunningly well Kevin Magnussen is driving. Utterly flawless and totally composed in his first race in Formula 1. I think it might just have found its newest star.

Bloody hell its lap 45 already? This race has flown by. Just noticing that Ron Dennis who isn’t planning to attend any F1 races or play a hands on role is now in fact ON THE PIT WALL. 

With now only 7 laps to go, its 1. Rosberg, 2. Ricciardo, 4. Magnussen, 4. Button, 5. Alonso, 6. Bottas. I would SO love to see Button on the podium although the three drivers ahead of him have driven so wonderfully as well. Not the most impressive of starts for Ferrari. There wll be cataclysmic ruptions at Di Montezemolo Towers.

Ricciardo with rookie Kevin Magnussen in close pursuit

Magnussen is now breathing down Ricciardo’s exhaust. I have just noticed that the McLaren cars are sponsored by ASOS.com – how brilliant and very un-Formula 1. The husband of course has no idea what ASOS is but says he keeps seeing emails from them <changes subject quickly>

I love the way that even though obviously Kevin is ridiculously fast his engineers keep reminding him what buttons to press. But still: amazing. And we are now in the closing stages of the race which to be honest (whisper it quietly) has been a little bit of a procession. And as the chequered flag falls the top 3 who have been in podium positions for nearly the whole race deservedly hang on to their prize. The local crowd go absolutely delirious to see their boy Ricciardo come home in 2^nd place!

Nico Rosberg wins the first race of the season

Here are the results from the Australian Grand Prix 2014:

1.    Rosberg – An imperious drive from start to finish.

2.    Ricciardo – *

3.    Magnussen – Absolutely sensational result on his Formula 1 debut.

4.    Button – Slightly gutted he missed out on a podium but still a great drive from 11^th on the grid.

5.    Alonso – I think overall he will be disappointed but points are points and Vettel and Hamilton got none.

6.    Bottas – Considering his early race incident, a great fightback!

7.    Hulkenberg – You know what he is always there or thereabouts whatever car you put him in.

8.    Vergne – A fine first outing of the season.

9.    Kvyat – The International Man of Mystery who became the youngest points scorer in F1 (beating you know who’s record).

10. Perez – I almost forgot he was still in F1!

*Ooops. I  feel like the Murray Walker kiss of death. After

a stewards inquiry that went on for several eternities, poor

Daniel Ricciardo got disqualified for exceeding the fuel

flow limit. Red Bull are now appealing the decision after branding

the FIA's fuel flow sensors as 'immature technology'. It has

emerged that Red Bull was warned about their fuel

flow levels during the race but chose to push on.

Red Bull - in the dock again

Right now the jury is out on whether we have a Brave New F1 World. After a lot of hysterical speculation that we would see engines conking out all over the place, we actually had a race that was dominated practically from start to finish by one driver. We still had Alonso being held up by Hulkenberg (à la 2013). It turns out that Red Bull isn’t as far off the pace as doomlord Christian Horner had us believe (although it remains to be seen how much advantage their illegal fuel flows gave them). 

But we also witnessed two hugely impressive debuts by Magnussen and Kvyat. And you have to hand it to Ron Dennis. He’s only been back two minutes and already McLaren are leading the Constructors Championship.

And just think in two weeks’ time we will be doing all this again!